Saturday, November 9, 2013

I miss you, Jared.

My friend, Jared, was an amazing writer. Scripts, poems, short stories - he really had a promising future. 

His poems are brilliant. I remember talking with him about them... He wrote one for me what now feels like so long ago. It's my favorite. 

I was cleaning out my email and I found it. When he sent it to me... When he was still alive. Before he jumped off that building. Back when he still believed in himself, and had hope.

My favorite poem - probably the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me, honestly.

Here it is:

-

The Fighter

A powerful thing you are
A beautiful thing
Born and made of Violence
You are sworn to it
Both a captive and a politician of it
You are the fighter

Every stomp and quiet step you take is a battle
Take them! Take them on I say!
The children the parents the dictators and the lovers
Show them your dominion
Inform them of your power over them
They shall not pass and you shall stand above

Scars? What of them?
You flash them brazenly like all your bloodied comrades
"Chicks dig scars" and P.S. Fuck Off
Yes I hear you and thus I will not assume an iota of you
You are complex, impenetrable on all fronts
You are the fighter

Fight for your power so they know you never fell
Fight for your friends and family so they may never be touched
Fight for the weak under your wings
Fight for your survival
Fight the sex that destroys and vanquish it
Fight the men with their own swords

Your gloves are as iron as your will
The arena you've built is astounding and vast
The walls feel cagey like iron; like your gloves; like your will
Gripping the walls peering through the spaces I think I see you
Your swing is percussive and piercing
I've no doubt your stamina outlasts entire stars

Your arena is vast.

-

I can still hear his voice in my head when I read that. 

I miss your hugs, your cuddles, your kind words. How much you believed in me, wanted me to succeed, how great a friend you were to me.

I'm sure you and Kyle are up there planning some insane Hollywood takeover, or hopefully helping me with mine...

...I just wish you wouldn't have jumped off that damn building.

I can never work with you again, or send you a script or call with an idea to get your input... You were the only person that would do that with me since Kyle. 

Damn if you didn't kill yourself, too.

I love you, Jared. God, I miss you guys. Miss you every day.

#StopSuicide

** To see a film written by, directed, edited by and starring Jared, go to this link. It's in parts - http://youtu.be/K4rm158mFHg

** To read more of Jared's poems and short stories, go here - http://jaredradtke.blogspot.com 

For the love of God, let's #StopSuicide. Seriously.

If you or someone you know is struggling, visit www.twloha.com/vision or call the Suicide Hotline.