I love that people trust me to walk them through that. That regardless of anything I'll ever do with my career in the film industry - I am and always will be that person at heart. I know how to pick people up when they don't think they have anything left in them, or any reason, to do it anymore.
I got a call tonight from a woman I counsel. Of course, a great friend too.
Well, I'd gotten a couple alarming texts first, then she followed my recommendation to call me. Here's what I'd received:
This woman is a fucking trooper. Might not seem like it there, but we're all human.
Truth be told, she's one of my bitches. She's one I'd call if I needed someone to fully and completely be there for me.
You certainly wouldn't ever want to fuck with her either. I'm not scared of anyone or anything... & I know better than to ever get on her bad side. She's one bad bitch that ain't nothing to fuck with.
She's in her 40s, single Mom, abusive relationship after abusive relationship. Never can quite see how to make ends meet, has dreams and goals she can't get started... Everything seems to keep spiraling down the shitter.
She would give you her last penny, the clothes off her back, a place to stay - anything for the people she loves and cares about. Friends or romantically. She's that woman.
Her problem is - she's been doing all those things for all the wrong people.
She feels so alone... And when I was counseling her through her struggle tonight, I was reminded of the many times I have been upset about feeling alone. Hell, I've blogged about it.
She's given so much of herself to all the wrong people, that she's totally and completely drained herself of any and all confidence or self worth. She's handed the key to her soul, her happiness, to the people carrying the 50 foot tall red flags.
Life taught her the hard lesson about bad people the tough way. Hey, it had to happen. She knew better, she's said so herself. She saw all the signs and stayed with this particular man anyways. Life hit her with a semi truck to teach her that particular lesson... Twice. Second time seems to have been her charm.
It hurt, hearing her pain. Her confusion. She kept talking about, "What the fuck do I do?" & "I have no confidence, I don't know where it went." & "What did I do to my kids?" Gosh, I hurt so deeply for her.
But I've been there.
Minus the kids, anyways.
We all have, haven't we?
I knew the semi truck life sent would hit her from the first time law enforcement got involved in her relationship. Knew it. I told her tonight, "I knew the whole time. I knew you'd go back, I knew it wouldn't change. Nothing I would have ever said or did would have mattered at all. I knew life had to teach you this lesson."
It all goes back to the fact that you and only you can make your life good, or make it bad.
Only you can prevent forest fires.
Have I use that phrase yet? Forgot.
Anyways, I believe in the power of lessons. When they're severe enough, you either change or you crumble.
Best part about lessons? You can learn them by watching others experience them. You can avoid the lesson, the pain, completely if you learn from others.
I'll leave it at that. I'll give you some things to ponder... Where was I going with this? What lessons did she need to learn? What good did this do for her?
What good can this do for you? Does this apply to you, someone you know?
Finish this blog in your mind. Where does it take you? Why?
In the meantime - don't worry about the woman above. She's actually doing really good for now.