** My Mom is now completely obsessed with OITNB. It's both amusing and disturbing. **
Me: Hey Mom.
Mom: April, guess what I just did?
Mom: I washed my pits, tits, & naughty bits!
<silence from me, while she laughs hysterically>
Me: ...well then...
Mom: Isn't that just clever?! Pits, tits, and naughty bits. I like that!
Me: Where are you?
Mom: At home.
Me: I hope you wouldn't repeat that in public.
Mom: Why not? Am I not allowed to wash my pits, tits, and naughty bits? Is that something only you kids can say or something?
<continued laughter from her>
Mom: I just called to tell you that. I have to let you go. I've gatta get back to the girls in the slammer.
Me: Oh, okay. Tell them I said 'Hi'.
Mom: I will!